"have fuck good lun"

“There is a variation on ‘Not All Men.’ It is called ‘I Feel Bad When You Say That.’ This is the block to accountability that leads many of us to quietly placate men in ways they take for granted and think are normal. With certain men who have not owned that this guilt script is inside them, this placating others do for them is so continuous and so normalized that they seem to take as a given that women around them will handle their emotions for them, and they don’t even see it happening. I have recently understood that men I have to do this for are not actually men I can trust. Because if they harm me, they expect me to remain silent about the harm, and they expect me to remain silent about the fact of remaining silent, so that they don’t have to feel bad, so that I don’t feel scared of them. This is given as the normal state of affairs. When you are accustomed to privilege, equality feels like oppression. Guilt is not empathy. Neither is shame. In fact, when people feel overwhelmed by their own inner feelings of guilt, they are more likely to attack the people around them rather than act empathetic. Feeling guilt does not make you a good person. Empathy and responsiveness make you a good person. Guilt blocks empathy. As a woman I cannot ignore my body’s deep, deep awareness of men’s potential to explode, attack, or flee if I pipe up about a thing they did that caused harm and that may as a result invoke guilt. I have been raised to sense that shit by the microsecond and act preemptively to coddle and placate and soothe the guilt before it can become a poisonous snake about to lunge at me, or an abandoning friend about to leave when I need them most. The cost to my body of coddling a scary, angry, fragile ego – coddling it to make sure it does not attack or abandon me – is so incredibly great that I actually cannot do this kind of coddling any longer. I realize I have been doing it instinctively for a long time. If you harm someone and then make it so that they feel afraid to tell you about it, be aware that women are likely coddling you constantly day in and day out in ways that exhaust them and that you take as normal and do not even notice. If you do this as a white person to people of colour, be aware of the same. It is so taken for granted in our culture that those with marginal subjectivity will constantly placate those who are dominant that this is seen as perfectly unremarkable by those with more power, while those doing the placating have silence – and exhaustion, and trauma’s many bodily impacts – as their shelter and companion. You can live your life unaware of this. But do you really want to continue to live so oblivious to the emotions and experiences of the people around you? Is that who you are?”

— Nora Samaran, Own, Apologize, Repair: Coming Back to Integrity (via streamofcuntsciousness)

having a gun and uniform fetish but shaking my head the entire time so people know i don't support police or the military

i wish there was a way to contest community labels on other people’s posts like a double peer review. like there should be an option to be like “no one normal would consider this post mature”

mods are asleep post Gathering Page Ridgeback Nose Spike

no fucking way (from Undel's deviantArt)

Butches 💕

one thing i need to start living by is “become the thing that you want” if i want friends who throw themed parties maybe i should start throwing those parties. if i want someone who writes me love letters maybe i should start writing letters for the people i love. if i want to hang out at museums and pretty cafes maybe i should invite my friends to these places. and maybe even then i won’t find the kind of people i want to be around. but then i would have become the exact person i want to be around. and maybe that’s good enough.

hey can somebody link me to that one tumblr post where a bunch of silicon valley programmer bros have this discussion where they basically invent eugenics and when this is pointed out to them by the horrified op they all react w disgust. i need it for a friend

@trufflesmushroom it’s this!!! sorry i couldnt find the actual original post

how do conservatives think talking to children works? if a four year old came up to me and said “i’m a cat!!” i would say “really? what makes you a cat?” and they’d say some shit like “i have claws >:)” and i’d be like “oh wow, you do have claws. but wait, i thought cats had pointed ears!” and they’d say “they DO!!!” and then i’d pull up a picture of an elf and ask “is THIS a cat?” and they’d yell “NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO”

u wouldn’t say “fucking hell, Emily, get it together. this is the real world”

ALT

British government put radioactive salt on chapati that they fed to Punjabi mothers in Oxfordshire in the 1970s